SinQSA snippets

Hi members and friends of SinQSA,

We now embark on a small project where we welcome and repost short biographical snippets of people who either:

1) Identify as queer
2) Have LGBTQ friends and relatives

With these snippets (about 200-300 words), we want to show the daily routines, as well as achievements and contributions of people who identify as queer or those who support their queer friends and relatives.

Here are some guiding questions for your snippet:
1) What do you (your friend) do for a living?
2) What are your (your friend’s) hobbies?
3) What are your (your friend’s) gripes?
4) What are your (your friend’s) contributions to society/Singapore?
5) What are your (your friend’s) personal achievements?
6) What was the last thing you (your friend) felt very proud of?
7) What was the last hurdle you (your friend) overcame?
Remember, your snippet may be about yourself or a friend/relative.

In Singapore, there are too many stereotypes and stigma that cast our LGBTQ friends, and straight people who associate with them, in the bad light.

Our little project aims to show that we are mature enough to move beyond the damaging stereotypes and stigma, and show that queer folks and straight friends lead ordinary lives, with ups and downs, and with achievements and contributions like any other Singaporean.

All too often, our problems, contributions and achievements are overshadowed by our identity, as people seem more preoccupied with gender and sexual identity. For once, we should help ourselves by putting the things we face as human beings, ahead of sexual orientation and gender identity, which are one part of who we are.

It is not as if we would like to prove to everyone that we are normal like them, but it is always nice to give gentle reminders to others if we want to make Singapore a better place for all regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity.

Until the day comes when our differences can be a reason for us coming together, we should start looking at similarities and the things we share in common.

You may write about yourself, or of a friend.
You may choose to remain anonymous.
You may wish to write about the mundane and daily routines, or particular achievements, contributions or struggles, anything to show that we are human and have a lot more in common than we think.
You may write in any language.
If you are writing from outside Singapore, please indicate so.
We trust you to be honest n your accounts/snippets.

We aim to collect these stories for the indefinite future, and post them on our website and to our Facebook group subscribers on a regular basis, sharing these stories with the rest of the community.

Please send your snippets to admin [at] sinqsa [dot] org.

With the snippets coming in from people from all walks of life, we also seek volunteers who are able to help out with the editing. We will definitely welcome your help! Do step forward and send us an email too, to admin [at] sinqsa [dot] org.

Well, SinQSA is about celebrating difference and being together to celebrate it. Let us make change.

The SinQSA Game Show

Hello and apologies for the month-long delay.

On August 16, the Singapore Queer-Straight Alliance (SinQSA) organised the SinQSA Game Show, which featured 5 teams each comprising one straight and one queer-identified friends, all competing game-show style.

Teams Nevereverfull, Pussy Riders, Pinky and the Brain, Sepet Ninjas, and Last Minute (in descending order) had a good time competing and entertaining the audience.

The winners were not only the mentioned teams, who walked away with prizes, but the many queer-straight alliances themselves.

Even in the context of a game show, they have shown that queer and straight people can work together, overcome challenges and also have a good laugh.

This event would not have been possible without the sponsors New Urban Male, Rusty’s Favourites, The Garden Slug, Food #03 and People Like Us Cafe.

A big thanks to the game programmer Min, who has provided us with wonder visuals.

SinQSA extends its gratitude to venue sponsors 72-13, who have been a friend of Pride Month Indignation. We also would like to thank People Like Us and Fridae and all other volunteers who have made this event and all other events at Indignation’09 possible.

See you at the next meet-up!

The SinQSA Game Show

The SinQSA Game Show: Putting the Queer-Straight Alliance to the Game Show test!

Form a team of 2 (one queer, one straight) and battle through 3 rounds of games (formats include Pyramid Game, charades and Taboo). Registration fee at $10 (which will support the All You Need Is Love exhibition organised by the Post-Museum).

To register, include your team name, individual profiles (nationality, hobbies and interests) and contact information and send an email to admin[at]sinqsa.org.

Prizes will be awarded courtesy of New Urban Male, The Garden Slug, People Like Us Cafe, Rusty’s Favourite and Food #03.

The first 50 attendees will receive vouchers courtesy of New Urban Male, and there will also be a lucky draw.

The Singapore Queer-Straight Alliance will also take the opportunity to make a short presentation on its ‘Straight Privileges’ project.

Venue: 72-13 Mohamed Sultan Road
Date: August 16, 3pm

See you there!

I heart SinQSA

Why be part of a queer-straight alliance?

For me, it ultimately boils down to what you believe in. Your beliefs may lead to certain decisions you make that in turn may make someone else feel happier and safer.

Being part of a group not only shows that members feel the same way about the same thing, but it symbolises a sense of belonging to a common set of beliefs. In this case, we believe in a queer-straight alliance. Our beliefs manifest in us being friends, being part of a community, being part of an idea to make our society more accepting and safer for people of diverse gender identities and sexual orientations.

I believe SinQSA exists not to directly and forcefully push for political or social change, but as a piece of diverse society, reminding us that there will always be a space for friendship regardless of differences. Friendship, to different persons, has different meanings.

I believe that friendship is colour-blind. For me, friendship is not shaded by physiology and ideology. Friends are not dictators of thought, and friends definitely do not make each other feel sad, guilty or unsafe.

A friend accepts another for who he or she is, because this acceptance is not hindered by self-righteous judgement. That probably explains why friends are those will always be there for you.

As we believe in friendship and make friends, we start to make the effort to improve our understanding of one another, as well as ourselves – our own person. Friendship is not bothered by prejudices, and friendship always prevails over misinformation and misconceptions.

That said, the fundamentals of any alliance reflect the basic characteristics of friendship.

In a country like Singapore, we are too preoccupied with issues of apathy, sympathy and empathy. In truth, we could be much better off with the embracing of the values of friendship. The simple reason why we have conflicts is because we are judgemental and unwillingly to listen. When we speak of resolving differences, we sometimes end up calling the other party ‘different’ and point out that they are the ones who need to be changing and adjusting for our comforts. Friends don’t do that.

In SinQSA, friendship is not only about the formalities of making friends or expanding one’s social circle. It is about the values that underpin these things, that we are primarily either accepting or positively ‘blind’ to differences in identity such as gender identity, sexuality, sexual orientation and sexuality.

For me, a friend does not really care whether you identify as male, female, transgenderal, or whether you have specific preferences for specific sexes, physiologies, personalities. These differences are nothing compared to the fostering of trust and the creation of safe social spaces.

Everyone is an integral part of his/her queer-straight alliance when he/she stands up for friendship and safety, and stands up against psychological and physical harm. You do not really need to be part of formal organisation to promote peace and equality, when you are already doing it in your own capacity on a daily basis. This in turn inspires others to do the same.

I believe I have some explaining to do when it comes to the conceptualisation and definition of ‘queer’ and ‘straight’.

We have decided to use ‘queer’ as an umbrella term to refer everybody captured under the banner of LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender) and more. ‘Queer’ is basically any identity other than cis-sexual and cis-genderal. ‘Queer’ also includes those who are questioning.

We want to take back ‘queer’, away from its persecutional past and derogatory roots, and re-introduce it to Singaporeans. This is not to say we should discard its historical elements. I do not deny that it may be political, given that similar to the colour pink, derived from the Nazi pink triangle label used on sexual minorities, but now celebrated as a symbol for LGBT solidarity and rights movements, the word ‘queer’ cannot be divorced from its past as a insult word. It is a subversive reminder to all of us and our past prejudices, yet a positive one in the sense that it shows how we have improved and can keep improving.

‘Straight’ or ‘straight-ness’, on the other hand, is equally a queer word. To be scientific, ‘straight’ is cis-sexual and cis-genderal. A straight man will generally be a biological male, who is masculine, identifies as a man, and is (and will probably want to profess to be) unquestionably heterosexual.

Speaking as straight man, I believe straight prejudices stem from a combination of 1) straight privileges which have long been taken for granted; 2) perceived and mythologised emotional, moral, sexual threats to one’s ‘straight-ness’; 3) lack of contact, understanding and information about queer persons; 4) unwillingness to address point 3.

Prejudices are also not confined to straight people, as queer persons also harbour them. We cannot throw away our prejudices overnight, but I believe we can make the same piece of space in which we all live a safe place, just by saying ‘yes’ to friendship.

For a long time, we have grown too accustomed to saying ‘no’ to others, ‘no’ to their beliefs, and ‘no’ to their personhood. We have to show, as we search within ourselves, that we can say ‘yes’ for once.

A queer-straight alliance? Yes.

Queer and straight friends? Yes.

A Singapore safe for gender and sexual diversity? Yes.

For once, let us not obsess with double negatives, i.e. fight discrimination, battle hate, eradicate bigotry and so on. We should not occupy ourselves with ‘endings’ and ‘wars’, but focus on what we can start, what we can renew and what we can improve. A singular positive word, belief or action, already encompasses both the positive and the battles against hate, discrimination, harm and basically anything that is negative.

It is all a matter of beliefs. Beliefs are there to give us hope, not fuel anger and hatred, not to stoke tensions, spread ill will and incite violence. I believe in peace and safety, and my attitude and actions will always speak of them.

Ho Chi Sam
A member of SinQSA

The SinQSA Game Show

Come be a part of The SinQSA Game Show!

Organised by the Singapore Queer-Straight Alliance (SinQSA), and as part of Singapore’s Pride season Indignation’09, The SinQSA Game Show promises to bring fun and test the ‘alliance’ between straight and queer friends. In other words, we are putting the queer-straight alliance to the game show test!

Form a team of 2, 1 being straight, 1 being queer-identified (LGBT), and sign up for the contest. Your team will battle other teams through three rounds of games, their formats include the Pyramid game, the charades, and Taboo. The top 3 teams from a maximum of 12 stand to win prizes.

Registration is simple and electronic. Registration fee is at $10 (may be paid at Food#03 or at the event venue upon confirmation of your participation). Just send an email to admin (at) sinqsa.org containing the following information:

a) Team name (think of something creative!)
b) Contestant names, contact numbers, emails (so that we can keep in touch and provide the necessary information and updates)
c) Other interesting contestant biodata, such as occupation, nationality, hobbies, etc.

In the event there are fewer than 6 teams (2-5), the top 3 will still stand to win prizes, but will go through more rounds of each 3 challenges.

Latest July 9 update: If you have trouble finding a partner, just email-sign up as an individual, with your name, contact number, email and interesting biodata, and we can find a teammate for you to compete. You may split the registration fee at $5 each (go dutch on the “first date”).

Registration will close when 12 teams have registered, or by August 5, 2009, so what are you waiting for?

We also welcome donations and interested sponsors who want to be part of this event. Proceeds will go to funding the event, as well as photo exhibition All You Need Is Love, which will feature photographs containing at least one straight and one queer persons, capturing happy moments of friendship.

See you soon!

Event details
Venue: 72-13 Mohamed Sultan Road
Date and time: August 16, 2009. 3pm
Website: www.sinqsa.org
Facebook event group: http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/event.php?eid=122505997743&ref=nf

Come make a Pink Dot on May 16

For more information, please go to http://pinkdot.sg.

Support the freedom to love.

May 16 is the day of the Pink Dot

Hello everyone,

Do you support the freedom of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) people to love? Then show your support by joining our smart mob at Hong Lim Park on 16 May, 4.30pm!

This is NOT a protest nor a parade, just a simple call for open-minded Singaporeans to come together to form a pink dot, of which aerial photographs will be taken. This pink dot is a celebration of diversity and equality, and a symbol of Singapore’s more inclusive future.

Venue: The field at Hong Lim Park

Date & Time: May 16 (Sat), 4.30pm

What to wear: Pink (caps, hats, glasses, sunglasses and accessories are recommended.)

What to bring: Anyone who supports the freedom of LGBT Singaporeans to love.

What to expect: The human pink dot will be formed by around 5pm and a photograph will be taken from a vantage point nearby.

To pledge your attendance, please click here:

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=41037205735#/event.php?sid=181a9978badf2a0c4c765bd6ca335ebc&eid=106116639688&ref=search

For updates, please join Pink Dot Sg on Facebook:

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=41037205735#/group.php?gid=41037205735

More about Pink Dot SG:

http://www.pinkdot.sg/

For queries, please e-mail pinkdotsg@yahoo.com

This event is 100% legal; no registration is required.

SinQSA’s Straight Privileges project

Hello friends!

Starting March 2009, SinQSA will be embarking on a small project.

In each of our monthly meet-up, everyone will take turns to contribute to the list of straight privileges, which contains the taken-for-granted things straight people have in Singapore.

This project aims to display the simple things in our daily lives as Singaporeans that may in fact be privileges exclusive to a group of people, in this case, those who identified as heterosexual. Any one, who identifies as straight or queer, are welcome to add to this list. It is a round-table effort, as the list is literally passed around the table for your guys to contribute.

An example of such a list can be found here.

We will see how long this list will grow in the months to come. We will compile it and post it on our website.

Hope to see you at our monthly meet-ups. Join our facebook group for more information!

Straight thoughts on 377A

“Sam, why are you so pro-gay?”

My classmate asked me this on Friday, as I was asking around to see if people were interested in signing the 377A repeal petition. I had been too busy to reply him then, but here’s my answer:

I’m not pro-gay. I’m anti-injustice.

I think we all encounter injustice in our lives. For example, I am Chinese by ethnicity, but can’t speak Mandarin well. I don’t look very Chinese either. I was frequently mocked in my childhood. “You are Chinese, so you should speak Chinese!” Coming from a neighbourhood school, Mandarin was the predominant language, so I’ve heard that from almost everyone. I felt discriminated against; an injustice to me.

Still, I made the effort to get some Mandarin into my system so that I could pass my exams and get that passport to the local university. (Maybe I was lucky too.)

It was in University that I finally learnt more meaningful things. I admit that initially, I was just there to get a degree, with which I could land myself a well-paying job, and happily leave behind everything I learnt. But I realise that university education has empowered me and made me more confident in expressing my thoughts. It would indeed be a waste if I left all that behind upon graduation.

Another thing I realised, is that thinking alone is useless when those thoughts are not expressed when it comes to standing up for what you believe in.

Maybe it’s a character trait. When I was 17, I read in the newspapers about an audition call for some English drama. I had always been a harsh critic of local television and actors, but it was only then that I realised that it was only too easy to sit on the sofa, point my finger, and open a critical mouth. So I decided to try acting for myself. It turned out to be really tough.

This was probably my own little rite of passage to holding myself accountable for my beliefs, and putting my money where my mouth is. It is for the very same reason that I continually write to the Straits Times Forum, even though my letters are usually rejected or else subjected to a fair amount of editing. The important thing is, I feel like I’m actually doing something that could make a difference, no matter how small, rather than just sitting around and complaining.

So what does a straight guy have to do with sexual minorities? Why even bother?

I believe in respecting spaces; that everyone should have his/her own space and not intrude into other people’s spaces. Perhaps a fair bunch of straight folks have had their ‘horrifying’ experiences with homosexual men, where they felt their personal spaces had been invaded. Then again, there are also many schoolgirls who also have had their ‘horrifying’ experiences with ‘cheekopeks’. There are black sheep in every society and community.

I used to be a homophobe because I did not see how “human” homosexual people were. When I became better able to understand their humanly pains, I started to see the discrimination, ostracism and hatred levelled against them. It’s like telling Chinese-looking kids that they ought to speak Mandarin. Although that may be a poor analogy, I think it’s still meaningful.

Homosexuality: It is an identity. Why are we trying to discipline and punish homosexuals; to “straighten” and institutionalise them according to our privileged predispositions? Why do we want to tell them who, and how, to love? Why do we want to invade their spaces?

Why are straight people so homophobic? Does homophobia justify discrimination, prejudice, and hatred, and do these manifestations justify institutional and legal disciplining and marginalisation of sexual minorities?

I think straight people are very lucky. We don’t realise that we are privileged, being in the position or side that is societally-condoned (at this point in history), and we take that comfort for granted. Straight people already occupy and live in a very big space, yet we continue to deprive sexual minorities of having their own spaces, thinking that it will come at the expense of our space, which is far from the case.

I thought to myself, “Imagine if one day, the community pointed its finger at me and deemed my identity, beliefs and self as wrong, immoral, sinful and illegal…” That would be a very horrible situation. I would experience a lot of dissonance. Would I do the good ol’ Singaporean thing and conform; cause no trouble?

There are people with special needs around us. There are also the poor, the aged and the ill. We don’t bat an eyelid to help them. But when it comes to sexual minorities – who are after all human beings as well – we whip out holy books, we talk about tradition, we talk about gender roles, behaviours and expectations, we even talk about medicine, we talk about our own moral and values system, but for all the ‘expert talk’, we end up not doing anything. Are our compassion and graciousness only limited to certain peoples?

When I went around asking classmates if they were interested in signing the 377A repeal petition, most declined.

Lack of information”. “I already signed the online one.” (which was just an open letter; not a petition.) “I don’t want trouble.”

We are University students. We’re supposed to be educated, right? We are so vocal in class – we can criticise the government in the classroom, we can engage passionately in discussions – but when it comes to putting names down, when it comes to participating in the democracy, nothing happens. Words aplenty, action so scarce. If you believe in a cause, you have the right to be silent as much as you have the obligation to do something about it. It’s not as if by signing the petition, we are being rude to the authorities or anything. Education empowers you to make a better and informed decision.

Well, there were some legitimate reasons. “It’s my religious belief, sorry.” “I don’t support the idea, sorry.” I just thanked them and apologised at the same time. These people had their beliefs, and clearly stated them. That was fine.

I believe that it takes a lot of guts for straight men to support gay equality. Siew Kum Hong has the guts to stand up, represent and speak up on behalf of sexual minorities in Singapore. That is representative democracy. That is quite “manly” too, to appropriate societal conceptions and stereotypical depictions of the “manly man”. They say if a man can stand up for and defend his wife against a gang of robbers, he’s a “real man”. What about a straight man standing up for gay men? Siew does not stand alone because he has earned the respect of many persons out there. Perhaps this is his rite of passage.

So what does 377A mean to me? I’m not gay, so I admit I can’t fully empathise, but what I see is institutional discrimination. The law doesn’t really care about what straight couples do in the bedroom, but it still “cares” about what gay people do in private. Not only is what they do private, it is most importantly consensual. Why should we punish consensual acts? Minors and persons who don’t give consent, should be protected. That is after all what the law should do. The law should protect; not marginalise communities or even worse, legitimise persistent discrimination. If I were shut up on 377A, I would be allowing discrimination to carry on under my nose. The 70% government subsidy of my university education would be put to shame. If there are other ways I can contribute to society aside from paying taxes, this is just one little thing I can do. I want to say that there are straight men in Singapore who support gay equality. Sexual minorities deserve equal recognition, fair representation, proper respect and similar rights.

SinQSA Meetup Nov 15

The first of our monthly meetup sessions where we can get to meet one another face-to-face. Our new website will also be launched!  Come join us!

Time and Place

Date : Saturday, November 15, 2008
Time : 2:00pm – 5:00pm
Location : Food #03, Post-Museum, 107+109 Rowell Rd, Singapore
Contact Info

Phone : 63963598
Email : admin@sinqsa.org